Tuesday, June 21, 2016

The Leap


The young man stood in the modern lobby looking through the glass doors into a reception area that could have been part of a Hollywood movie set. All the furniture in the room was either dark red wood, leather the color of strong black coffee or thick glass with a greenish tinge.

He'd been standing outside the doors for about five minutes and while many well-dressed, great smelling people had passed him, no one seemed to notice his presence even though he wore old jeans, dirty sneakers and a hoodie sweatshirt. He wondered if it was common for lost-looking street people to stand around in lobbies. He had no idea.

Joe had never been in a place like this before and right now he thought that he'd made a mistake by coming here. He wasn't ready for this big of a move. Some people were just meant to be where they were. They had no business trying to do better, he had no business trying to do better.

This was stupid, he was stupid. It was like Eric said, Joe was a worm and the only guts a worm had was what you saw when you stepped on it. Joe knew what Eric meant when he said that. He was saying that Joe was looking to get stepped on bad if he didn't settle down and stop his whining.

Joe knew what Eric could do to him. Eric wasn't a worm. He'd seen Eric beat the holy shit out of guys before. Once he got started, Eric just kept going, he didn't feel sorry for the guy and stop. He just kept going until he got tired of beating the dude or something else caught his attention. Eric didn't care. Joe guessed he didn't have to. That was why people followed him, Eric made decisions that stuck and you did what he said.

So what was Joe doing here, in this building, standing outside the office of the District Attorney? Did he really think he could rat out Eric and come out of this alive? Fat chance, worm! Come on, get out of here now, before somebody spots you. Somebody will see him and word will get back to Eric and Eric will kill him. Maybe Eric will send guys to his Mom's apartment and they'll kill her too. Maybe they'll drag them both to the same place and beat them both to death, one at a time.

Oh God, he couldn't think this way. He couldn't bear to picture what that would be like. What was he doing? Quick! Get out of here, now!

Just hold it. He had to go through with this. To show Eric he wasn't a worm. He had to do it to show Eric that he was a person. Joe can stop Eric. Joe can walk in there and tell them what Eric did last night. Joe saw it. Joe can tell them how Eric and Pauly and the new guy killed those two kids in the park, just for fun. Just for fun!

He can't go back there after they did that. It'd be like saying it was OK. If Joe went back now, he'd be telling them that those two kids were nothing, that they deserved to die alone and screaming, like they did.

Either go in and do this or turn around and get out of here. One or the other. He needed to make up his wormy mind for God sake. Joe looked at the floor and rubbed his sweaty hands together. He had to get out here. He'd go back home and think about this some more. Maybe there was another way he could do this. Right!

He started to turn to go back to the elevator bank and was surprised to find himself instead walking quickly through the glass doors and then up to the desk. What was happening?

"May I help you?" The woman was about his Mom's age but not as beat up looking. As she looked up at him the smile on her face quickly changed to neutral and then to concern.

"I, I, I, I, ummmh," he swallowed quickly and took a deep breath, "nn_n-n-need to spuh, spuh, spuh, talk …"

With a stutter like his, this was going to take a little while. He needed to concentrate now.


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